Why Who You Spend Time With Matters ⏰

Hey The Yo Pro community, Kile Graves here. I’m a Fayetteville native, born and raised here, went to school at Arkansas, and now have 2 young kids with my wife, Esther. Spiritually speaking, I grew up in the church, but didn’t realize my need for a Savior until college. Since then, I’ve been trying to take ownership of my own spiritual formation and discipleship to Jesus seriously. 

On the work front, I have had three very distinct seasons - corporate, startup, and coach.

I began my career at Walmart in a rotational development program, running the P&L for a category group for three years. It was an extremely stretching season for me and helped me learn how to be a professional with very real work responsibilities.

However, I knew I wasn’t going to last long in the corporate world. I left at the end of 2017 to pursue the entrepreneurial journey. I helped start a few companies, but the biggest was an outdoor apparel brand called beardedgoat.

After about 7 years of scaling that business, I decided to go work in my family business of coaching business owners and CEOs. I never had ambitions to work with my dad necessarily. In fact, if you had asked me in my 20’s I would’ve told you that I would rather do my own thing, “spread my own wings” and definitely didn’t want what I perceived to be a “handout” from my dad. Thankfully, my wife helped reframe my perspective on the opportunity to work my dad from one of pride into a blessing. I’m so glad she did, too. I’ve been doing this for two years now and absolutely love it. I carry a full portfolio of CEOs and business owners, with a slight specialization in family businesses — whether they're multigenerational legacy companies or joint family ventures. A lot of my clients are sons, dads, or sometimes both.

Some words or phrases that summarize my young professional season are: stretching, testing, anxious, performance-based, drinking from a firehouse, and commitment. 

Roses from my young professional years:

• I got exposed to a lot of really dynamic leaders early on at Walmart and had to lead meetings that I probably shouldn’t have been in charge of.

• On the startup side, building a brand with guys who have become extremely good friends was so much fun. I think I’ll hang onto some of those memories from beardedgoat forever. The startup journey built a sense of grit and never accepting ‘no for an answer’ in me that I still use every day. 

Thorns from my young professional years:

• I struggled (and still do) deeply with my perception. In corporate, I was more worried about that than my true understanding of my job and responsibilities. The result was some really tough discussions with my bosses bosses boss (yikes). I learned the hard way that if you don’t know how to do something, then it’s on you to get help. Faking it never works well.

• At beardedgoat, I had a lot of my identity wrapped up in my job. I struggled a lot with how people perceived me and putting my worth and value into the success of the brand as we grew it. When we missed a chance at a really exciting Series A fundraising opportunity, I had to grapple with the reality of the business versus my ambitions and dreams. I felt 7 years of constant work, activating every person in my network, and complete dedication to the business slowly fizzle away. Surrendering that to God was a solid 18-month journey. But it was a great reminder of God’s sovereignty and led me to where I am today, and I am so grateful for that.

Go find someone in the life stage ahead of you (at least 10 years older) and just spend time with them. Talk about, ask questions around, and seek wisdom regarding: work, relationships, money, friends, God, culture, etc.

Having someone invested in you who can speak into your world is critical. I didn’t do this and wish I had. It could have saved me from a lot of headaches (and heartaches).

Take an honest look at where and with whom you spend your time. Evaluate if it’s contributing to the type of person you want to be when you’re 35.

You are being formed into someone, whether you like it or not, and whether you’re intentional about it or not. 

Discover how you really connect with God and what makes you feel close to His presence.

For me, that’s being outside and listening to worship music.

Identify it, then lean into it. It can become a special way for you to continually reposition yourself before Jesus as the years go by and life becomes more complicated and complex.

Proverbs 16:9 - The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. 

My wife and I lead a college bible study with upperclassmen. This verse comes up almost weekly in discussions about the future, planning, what to focus on, etc. However, it has also been an anchor verse for me over the past two years as I transitioned from entrepreneurship to business coaching.

Life is full of transitions, unknowns, and constant change. I love this verse because it reminds me that:

1. God gives us desires and the ability to make plans.

2. But also, He is the one who will establish those plans with success. I need simple truth to anchor my heart in.

As always, let us know how we can help you navigate your world as you navigate the world.

In Your Corner.

See you next Tuesday!