Intentional Living in your 20's

Life in your 20s is complex, right? It's the first time you are entering into a season that could potentially be the rest of your life. No more graduations that will launch you like your undergrad, and the fear of autonomy may sit in. I vividly remember leaving graduation, driving away in my car to lunch alone, and wondering what the next decade of my life, personally and professionally, would look like. I was 22, ambitious, and, to quote T-Swift, "felt like I knew everything at 18 and nothing at 22." There is so much life ahead of me and so much mystery. 

Now that I'm 32 with a young family, here is what I would tell that 22-year-old at the beginning of each new year. 

Who you are becoming is much more valuable than simply what you do. 

Here are four principles to guide you in your 20s, which I wish would've been adopted earlier in my life. 

1. From "What" to "Who"

Instead of starting your day by asking, "What needs to be done?" try asking, "Who do I need or desire to be?" This subtle shift in focus can help you prioritize your values, relationships, and personal growth. By focusing on who you need to be, you'll be more intentional about the person you want to become. Who do the people in your life need you to be? 

2. Becoming Over Doing

I hate to admit that Miley Cyrus was right when she wrote the song "The Climb," but the principle she is getting as really is true. Life's journey is formational, meaning you will become the byproduct of the small decisions you make over time. But remember, who you are becoming is far more beneficial and holistic than only focusing on what you're doing. Show yourself the same grace the Lord shows you, and trust that His work on your behalf is enough proof of your value. 

Romans 5:1: "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." 

3. The Power of Identity

Who you are is what you bring to every area of your life. Your identity shapes your relationships, work, and overall decision-making. By knowing intentionally about who you are and who you're becoming, you can begin to unlock the beauty of Psalm 139: 13-14

13 "For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well."

Remember, your identity is not defined by your accomplishments, possessions, or profession but by "whose" you are. As a child of God, that is who you are. You are His child; now, life is an invitation to abide with the one who formed you. 

4. Living an Integrated Life

Can you imagine the clarity of an integrated life? What do I mean by that exactly? Here it is: The unseen parts of who you are (thoughts, feelings, desires, longing) and the seen parts (actions, words, non-verbals, circumstances) live together in harmony. They aren't competing but rather are complimenting each other. No more secrets, people pleasing, no anxiety, no fear of man, no addictions to rule your life, but rather wholly being known and completely loved. That's the offer! Who wouldn't want to be known that completely and yet still loved fully? 

Big Takeaways:

• Shift your focus from "what" to "who" 

• Focus on WHO you are becoming rather than simply WHAT you are doing

• Knowing "whose" you are maybe the secret sauce

• An Integrated Life is the life God offers and you desire. 

Want to know the ultimate secret to all of this?

You can't do it. 

I'll repeat it: YOU CANNOT DO IT. We completely depend on the Lord for lasting change, and the beautiful part is that he is committed to forming himself in you. 

Check this out from Philippians 1:6: "Being confident of this, that HE who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Grace is not opposed to effort, but it is opposed to earning. So, of course, we put forth effort in being formed, but it is a partnership with the Lord and the Holy Spirit. Lean in and trust that He is God, and He is with you in every moment. 

So, in 2025, I would encourage you to consider WHO you are being formed into. 

In Your Corner,

Dave Matthews

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