"I Got It From My Mama" 🗣️

I've never been much of a large-crowd person.

If a gathering goes beyond eight people, there's a good chance I'm quietly scanning the room for a corner to retreat to — somewhere I can lock into just one conversation. Maybe two, if I'm feeling brave.

Most people are surprised when I tell them that. Some even push back and say, "Really? I wouldn't have guessed that about you." But it's true. And it's been true for a long time.

I'll never forget our end-of-the-year football banquet in 7th grade. Big deal, right? I was feeling anxious — the kind of anxiety where you start rehearsing conversations in your head:

What should I say if they say that? What if I run out of things to say? What if I say something dumb?

My mom noticed something was up — probably because I was staring out the window, wearing every thought on my face, and biting my nails or something.

She turned around and asked, "What's going on in that head of yours?"

And for some reason, I told her. That's when she gave me one of those one-liner pieces of wisdom that stays with you your whole life.

Woah. It disarmed me, confused me, and got me thinking real quick. That question — and the mindset behind it — has stuck with me. And honestly, it's become a guide for the person I want to become: A 'there you are' person, not a 'Here I am' one.

Here's something I've learned over time: People love to talk about themselves.

I am not dogging people when I say that; I really do believe this to be true, and so much so that if I can leave a conversation with speaking less than 20% of the time, I’m content.

The people we remember most — the ones who make us feel valued — are the ones who draw us out. The ones who, even for just a moment, make us feel like the most interesting person in the room.

That doesn't happen accidentally but rather when someone walks into a space committed to being a "there you are" person. Someone here for you, and not to prove something about themselves.

“There You Are” people —

• They don't scan the room for approval — they scan for people who might feel unseen.

• They ask good questions, LISTEN, and make eye contact.

• They remember names.

• They draw out the unique fingerprint of God in others.

• They care more about knowing someone than being known.

• They help people feel known, not just noticed.

It's the kind of posture Paul describes in Philippians 2:3–4:

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

Being a "there you are" person doesn't mean you play small.

It means you're anchored in presence, not performance.

Why a “There You Are” person matters in life and work:

Trust is built in the small, noticing moments.

• Whether you're a team lead or a new hire, people remember how you made them feel.

Confidence looks outward.

• Insecure people try to dominate rooms.

• Secure people, lift them.

Relational equity > self-promotion.

• In the long run, who you build up matters more than how you show up.

"Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed." — Proverbs 11:25

Below are three ways to show up as a “there you are” person with people in your circle of influence this week —

1. Ask a different first question.

• Walk into rooms thinking: Who might need a "there you are" moment today?

2. Shift the spotlight.

• Use someone's name. Ask a second question. Stay curious.

3. Practice quiet confidence.

• Let your work speak. Let your presence settle. Let your posture be generous.

"When words are many, sin is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise." — Proverbs 10:19

You don't have to be the loudest in the room to make the most significant impact. In a world full of "here I am" energy, the quiet strength of "there you are" people is a breath of fresh air. Let's be those kinds of people!

"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near." — Philippians 4:5

As always, In your corner (and probably in my own in a large gathering...)

As always, let us know how we can help you navigate your world as you navigate the world.

In Your Corner.

See you next Tuesday!